I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
