oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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