just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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