oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
