no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
