You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
