Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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