And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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