So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
