how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
