There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
