how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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