My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize