it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
