Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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