Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
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Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
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My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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