i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
