that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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