I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
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