Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger