Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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