Duck Duck Cougar?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.