I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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