New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
