so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
