I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
