Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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