so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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