He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
