tell your sister to shave her snatch
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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