Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize