my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
