How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
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Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
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He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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