THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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