I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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