My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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