Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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