note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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