I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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