Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Girls should come with a carfax report
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I didn't notice because vodka
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
