I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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