let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
