just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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