At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
