"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize