I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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