his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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