hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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