he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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