1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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