Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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