My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize