You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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