First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
