margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
