don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
