Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
