Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
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She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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