I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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