dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
