I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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