I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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