Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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