I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
