so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
