I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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