i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
